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About Jon
Thank You For Not ...

1) using profanity or any euphemisms for profanity
2) personally attacking other commenters
3) baiting other commenters
4) arguing for the sake of arguing
5) discussing politics
6) using hyperbole when something less will suffice
7) using sarcasm in a way that can be misinterpreted negatively
8) making the same point over and over again
9) typing "no-hitter" or "perfect game" to describe either in progress
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11) commenting under the obvious influence
12) claiming your opinion isn't allowed when it's just being disagreed with

As God As My Witness ...
2008-07-22 22:19
by Jon Weisman

After tonight's game, we deserve this:

Comments (114)
Show/Hide Comments 1-50
2008-07-22 22:33:31
1.   The Trolley Dodger
http://tinyurl.com/5j9cvu

Via MLBTradeRumors:

> According to George King of the New York Post:

> Yankee scout Rick Williams is following the Dodgers, who will entertain offers for right-hander Derek Lowe if he will bring L.A. a much-needed bat.

2008-07-22 22:36:22
2.   Schteeve
The Yankess much need some bats too, I wouldn't get too excited.
2008-07-22 22:45:45
3.   jasonungar07
If we were to trade (it's all relative I know) who are some players some of you might want that might be realistic? Anyone?
2008-07-22 22:48:15
4.   Bob Timmermann
The Yankees backups on the infield are Wilson Betemit and Justin Christian.

I don't see the Dodgers trading Derek Lowe for those guys.

2008-07-22 22:50:00
5.   KG16
there is no one available on the yankees that would help the Dodgers.

ever have one of those days that drain you completely but your brain still refuses to shut off?

2008-07-22 22:53:57
6.   Tripon
Maybe they'll trade us A-Rod. That will fix our 3rd base problems.
2008-07-22 22:54:00
7.   trainwreck
I wish we could have a DH, then the 'stache could be ours. It would be great to root for Giambi again.
2008-07-22 23:14:39
8.   underdog
5 - Yeah, I had one of those last night, Couldn't sleep 'til around 1AM. But reading a really boring book helped, and doing an impossible crossword puzzle.

Btw, thanks for posting my favorite WKRP episode, Jon. Though I'd actually bought that one from iTunes earlier this year! Every day is Thanksgiving when you have that one in your iTunes arsenal.

2008-07-23 00:12:33
9.   trainwreck
8
Underdog, I <3 Spaced. Edgar Wright does a fantastic job as director and I am pretty much going to love any show that likes to make Evil Dead references.
2008-07-23 00:15:25
10.   Paul Scott
Bonds is available. If we really need a bat, we can have one of the best ones for just cash.
2008-07-23 00:32:28
11.   natepurcell
Austin Gallagher is at 323/373/497 in 221ABs so far.

Pretty good for a suppose raw 19 year old in high A ball.

2008-07-23 00:49:03
12.   Eric Enders
Remember just a year ago when Gallagher was considered too raw to survive in Rookie ball?
2008-07-23 00:52:35
13.   Xeifrank
Ah, WKRP... back when TV was actually good. Good writing, good acting etc... sure brings back memories.
vr, Xei
2008-07-23 00:56:58
14.   Eric Enders
Wow, it ain't every day when Xeifrank interrupts a baseball conversation with a TV comment. ;)
2008-07-23 01:06:02
15.   trainwreck
13
I'm kind of in shock to be honest.
2008-07-23 01:57:55
16.   imperabo
10 That and your soul
2008-07-23 03:39:38
17.   Benjamin Miracord
I just had this unusual dream. Kershaw is trying to pitch against the Giants on Monday night when Chin-Feng Chen unexpectedly shows up and walks out to the mound and starts calling him "Clayton Rickshaw." Then Paul Konerko shows up and walks out on the field and starts calling him "Clayton Jeffshaw."

Kershaw gets angry and leaves the stadium to go film an episode of "The Munsters," where he plays the younger brother of Matt Damon. Damon starts asking him if he likes apples.

I keep telling myself it was just a dream, but we'll have to wait and see if any or all of these things occur on Monday evening.

2008-07-23 03:42:17
18.   chris in illinois
16 Somebody sold their soul in 1988 out in LA, so what's one more?

Besides, don't you think that you are probably already employing a 'juicer' (maybe 'former' juicers) or three on your current roster??

2008-07-23 03:48:20
19.   Eric Enders
17 Jim Garrison should be somewhere in all this, calling him Kerton Clayshaw.
2008-07-23 03:48:53
20.   Eric Enders
And he's from Dallas too! Coincidence?
2008-07-23 04:52:56
21.   Ken Noe
Bailey....Bailey....uh, oh, the Yankees are interested in dealing prospects for a starter and a bat. I'd move Lowe if the offered prospects are A-level, although I would have been more willing before last night:

http://tinyurl.com/6a7fx4

2008-07-23 05:16:39
22.   Bob Timmermann
13
In the year of the improbable....
2008-07-23 05:20:11
23.   Ken Noe
According to various stories at MLB Trade Rumors, Yanks have also been discussing Igawa and maybe Cabrera with the M's.
2008-07-23 05:23:51
24.   D4P
Xeifrank needs to watch himself some "Arrested Development." If after 3 episodes he's not completely convinced that it's the best show he's ever seen, he can return the unwatched episodes for a complete refund.
2008-07-23 05:28:34
25.   PDH5204
Jon: Thanks. Best ever sitcom episode. As God as my witness...
2008-07-23 05:59:58
26.   Bob Timmermann
Rick Mahorn on why he shoved Lisa Leslie during a WNBA game:

"I was trying to protect the whole game, the integrity of the game," Mahorn told the Associated Press.

Always time for a good laugh when you get up in the morning. I'm glad Rick Mahorn is sticking up for fair play in basketball, whether or not it is for men or women. Mahorn is truly a paragon.

2008-07-23 06:04:16
27.   D4P
Isn't Laimbeer a WNBA coach too? Kinda weird that the Bad Boys would end up coaching women's basketball...
2008-07-23 06:05:20
28.   Bob Timmermann
Laimbeer is the head coach and Mahorn is one of his assistants.
2008-07-23 06:18:33
29.   D4P
I guess I don't know my WNBA.
2008-07-23 06:33:13
30.   Bob Timmermann
Michael Cooper coaches the Sparks.
2008-07-23 06:37:10
31.   Andrew Shimmin
How many WNBA players are really men posing as women? I saw a documentary on this, a few years ago, which was very engaging.
2008-07-23 06:40:29
32.   Bob Timmermann
I don't believe Jaye Davidson plays in the WNBA.
2008-07-23 06:41:24
33.   Andrew Shimmin
32- I'm not a big basketball fan, but I think the guy's name was Juwanna Mann.
2008-07-23 06:43:05
34.   Bob Timmermann
33
No, that was Andrew Bogut.
2008-07-23 06:45:47
35.   D4P
How many WNBA players are really men posing as women?

They're pretty easy to spot. They're the ones who can dunk but have poor fundamentals.

2008-07-23 06:49:40
36.   Andrew Shimmin
Poor fundaments, too.
2008-07-23 06:51:56
37.   Bob Timmermann
Getting up early to buy tickets online for the Utah-Michigan game for my brother and nephew netted me less sleep and no tickets.
2008-07-23 06:55:13
38.   D4P
What's Andrew's rationale for getting his fundament out of bed so early...?
2008-07-23 06:58:14
39.   Andrew Shimmin
38- I'm pitching my time shares to east coasters, this morning. Do you have a minute to talk about the freedom of owning the physical manifestation of your dreams?
2008-07-23 07:06:08
40.   D4P
39
Well, I've worked hard and I feel like I deserve a break...
2008-07-23 07:13:27
41.   Bob Timmermann
Turned out that other Michigan football games are available, just not the opening game against Utah. Perhaps the good people of Michigan have Rich Rodriguez Fever.
2008-07-23 07:14:17
42.   Andrew Shimmin
Michael Arcuri is wearing a baby blue linen suit on the floor of congress.
2008-07-23 07:15:44
43.   Bob Timmermann
Congress is in session at 10:15 in the morning?
2008-07-23 07:16:38
44.   Andrew Shimmin
It's Wednesday. They don't want to hang around all day when they have to get home for the weekend.
2008-07-23 07:17:47
45.   Bob Timmermann
But at 10:15 am, Sam DC hasn't slept off his hungover yet.
2008-07-23 07:18:04
46.   Bob Timmermann
Hangover, that is.
2008-07-23 07:19:22
47.   Bob Timmermann
San Diego at Cincinnati is not televised this morning.

Please show courage.

2008-07-23 07:23:05
48.   D4P
47
Must be on Pay-Per-View. They don't just give stuff like that out for free.
2008-07-23 07:25:20
49.   Bob Timmermann
Greg Maddux is pitching today.

And he knows how to win. He can teach Clayton Kershaw how to win.

Maddux is 3-8.

Lesson #1 to winning: Don't pitch for a really bad Padres team.

2008-07-23 07:26:34
50.   D4P
"Maddux isn't motivated. If the Padres were in contention, Maddux would have a better record."
Show/Hide Comments 51-100
2008-07-23 08:06:51
51.   worz
If Plaschke would stick to articles like his this morning I would be willing to read his more regularly. Of course its also nice that the Dodgers, as an organization, seem to be doing a nice thing too.
2008-07-23 08:13:47
52.   jasonungar07
Dodger defenitions by Ken Gurnick:

.256 /.294 /.290 /.583 (a legitimate leadoff batter)

.307 /.381 /.533 /.914 (an illlegitimate leadoff batter)

--

Pierre is batting .277 with 24 RBI and has 35 stolen bases this season. His return would give Los Angeles a legitimate leadoff batter with Rafael Furcal currently on the 60-day DL after undergoing lower back surgery in early May.

2008-07-23 08:38:52
53.   Eric Stephen
I first checked Dodger Thoughts this morning on my phone (yes, I'm that loyal!) and while the video didn't load, I knew instantly what the title referenced. That made me feel good inside.

51
If Plaschke would stick to articles like his this morning I would be willing to read his more regularly

That almost got suckered me in to reading a Plaschke article. Nice try, and well played sir.

2008-07-23 08:48:10
54.   underdog
9 Awesome, train. You can see why QT adores the show. (I wouldn't have even caught the Pulp Fiction reference if it weren't for the commentary track pointing it out.) Enjoy!
2008-07-23 08:51:36
55.   Kevin Lewis
Well, I have never watched WKRP, so I now I need to watch all the episodes leading up to this one, so I can have all the character backgrounds and context to enjoy the episode. There goes my weekend.
2008-07-23 08:52:51
56.   Kevin Lewis
53

That brings up a funny question. Name a time when you went to check Dodgerthoughts and it made you think you might have a problem?

for example, during Thanksgiving dinner

2008-07-23 08:54:34
57.   cargill06
I'm contemplating a Maine for Kershaw deal in my fantasy league, I would get Clay. I know Joe says he's staying up for good, do you think he'll be in the rotation for the rest of the way?
2008-07-23 08:58:30
58.   still bevens
57 Dont forget his innings limit. He's got about 65+ innings left for the season.
2008-07-23 09:00:58
59.   Eric Stephen
56
I have yet to check Dodger Thoughts on a date!
2008-07-23 09:08:10
60.   Eric Stephen
58
I don't think the Dodgers will have to hold Kershaw back to limit his innings. Right now there are 68 days left in the regular season. If the Dodgers went with a strict 5-day rotation, the most starts Kershaw could get is 13. Right now, he's averaging 4.6 IP/start, but for sake of argument lets say Kershaw gets 5 IP per start. That would put him at 65 more innings.

The Dodgers have 62 games left, however, and realistically the most starts Kershaw would get is 12. If he were to progress enough to average 6 IP for the final two months of the season, that's 72 more innings and a total of 175 IP on the season. I'm sure the Dodgers would be OK with that.

2008-07-23 09:08:11
61.   Bumsrap
LaRoche, jogging to first after a walk, reminds me of Duke Snider jogging out to the outfield to start an inning. LaDuke might be an appropriate nick name. Flatbush?
2008-07-23 09:09:40
62.   Eric Stephen
61
Flatbush?

I don't want to get Andy confused with a style of blocking the plate. Maybe we can refer to Mike Scioscia, the best ever at blocking the plate, as either Packrat or Gary C.!

2008-07-23 09:09:44
63.   Bumsrap
60 - You left out the innings he will pitch in the playoffs and World Series.
2008-07-23 09:10:44
64.   Suffering Bruin
And good morning one and all. I took the dog out when it was 6-0, came back, saw we were down a few more runs and that was that for moi.

I don't know where the WKRP turkey show ranks in the annals of all-time best television shows but it's gotta be in the top ten.

2008-07-23 09:11:11
65.   Bumsrap
62 - Flatbush, as in The Duke of Flatbush.
2008-07-23 09:11:44
66.   Tripon
Who's faster, Juan Pierre, or Matt Kemp?
2008-07-23 09:13:00
67.   Bumsrap
66 - Kemp was faster last week.
2008-07-23 09:14:39
68.   Tripon
I would assume so, since Matt Kemp is the 2nd coming of Ricky Henderson.
2008-07-23 09:16:36
69.   wronghanded
Or is Kemp the 2nd coming of Barry Bonds, minus the terrible attitude and the juiced up years in his late 30's.
2008-07-23 09:18:00
70.   Tripon
Latest report from Diamond Lueng.

- Pitcher James Adkins, a Dodgers first-round pick in 2007, has been promoted to Class AA Jacksonville, where he will replace Clayton Kershaw on the roster. Adkins had been pitching for Class A Inland Empire.

- Pitcher Wilfredo Diaz was released from Class A Great Lakes. Diaz made headlines this spring when the Puerto Rican reported to Vero Beach authorities that he was robbed at gunpoint near Dodgertown. He was said to be tremendously shaken up by the incident.

2008-07-23 09:22:29
71.   underdog
Hmm, I wonder why NedCo is in Las Vegas... Is he there to scout Juan Pierre's rehab assignment?

Just noticed that RepKo (no relation to NedCo) hit a home run in their game last night.

If Andruw Jones wasn't just a giant sucking sound this season, I bet we'd hear Pierre's name all over trade rumors, even with his injury. But, alas...

2008-07-23 09:27:12
72.   underdog
Ken Rumorthal had this weirdness in his latest (as seen on MLBTR):
The White Sox explored a scenario where they would've acquired Brian Roberts from Baltimore, traded Orlando Cabrera to the Dodgers, and moved Alexei Ramirez to shortstop. That obviously didn't work out. The Sox may be currently trying to decide whether to part with third baseman Josh Fields, their best trade chip and third baseman of the future.
2008-07-23 09:30:05
73.   Ken Noe
71 Hmm, I wonder why NedCo is in Las Vegas.

"Ladies and germs welcome to the Blue Room! For your entertainment tonight please welcome the soulful stylings of NED COLLETTI!!!"

2008-07-23 09:30:29
74.   Tripon
69 Or is Kemp the 2nd coming of Barry Bonds, minus the terrible attitude and the juiced up years in his late 30's.

They have one thing in common, pissing off Jeff Kent.

2008-07-23 09:37:22
75.   GoBears
74. Who doesn't?
2008-07-23 09:39:06
76.   underdog
73 The only thing scarier than that image is thinking he's in some part of Cirque du Soleil.
2008-07-23 09:39:13
77.   wronghanded
74 For some reason that doesn't seem like a difficult thing to do.
2008-07-23 09:40:18
78.   Tripon
http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/8370412/It's-been-a-turn-for-the-worse-in-Torre's-first-year

Ian-O-Conner slams Torre and the Dodgers.

2008-07-23 09:41:08
79.   fanerman
Has Jeff Kent done anything bad this season (besides getting old)? He seems to be on decent behavior.
2008-07-23 09:42:42
80.   GoBears
79. Naught that I know of. He's just a general-purpose jerk. Very consistent. Proven Veteran Jerkiness.
2008-07-23 09:44:16
81.   Ken Noe
76 "Feelings, nothing more than feelings..."

79 Heck, I think he's gone out of his way to be supportive. No problems with Old Man Kent this year other than his numbers.

2008-07-23 09:46:40
82.   Tripon
Wonder if the Dodgers are foolish enough to offer Kent another year to play in 2009?
2008-07-23 09:47:54
83.   Scanman33
72-The thing that annoys me when reading anything attributed to Rumorthal is I can hear his voice saying it in my head.
2008-07-23 09:49:33
84.   fanerman
81 Yeah that's the impression I had, too.
2008-07-23 09:50:18
85.   fanerman
83 Ugh. I know exactly what you mean. =(
2008-07-23 09:50:54
86.   Scanman33
Ned in Vegas: "I'm folding this A-K suited pre-flop. Sure it has potential, but I'm holding out for a pair of 3's. They're established and proven."
2008-07-23 09:51:38
87.   GoBears
81. Well, he's not stupid. It's clear for everyone to see that all these kids are better than he is in 2008.

And Jeff's a PVJ. He doesn't have to prove anything to anyone on that front. If a trashcan needs relocating, he'll order it done behind closed doors, nothing to gossip about.

2008-07-23 09:52:17
88.   KG16
73 - you laugh now, but I made the mistake of ducking into a show the last time I was in Vegas - figured I'd grab a quick drink, here some decent music - and it was Colletti's Vegas debut.

79 - isn't it only a matter of time? Scorpion and the swan, and all that.

2008-07-23 09:52:57
89.   underdog
78 - Who is Ian O'Conner and why do we care?
2008-07-23 09:53:52
90.   underdog
Who would win a fight between Scanman and Fanerman?

Coming soon, to Marvel Comics!

2008-07-23 09:54:35
91.   Tripon
89

I have no idea other than he wrote an article blasting the Dodgers and Torre.

2008-07-23 09:55:02
92.   KG16
86 - must... resist... poker... thoughts
2008-07-23 09:55:57
93.   fanerman
90 I think we would work together to solve crime and fight for all that is good and Blue.
2008-07-23 09:56:22
94.   fanerman
Matt Kemp has hit 6 home runs in about the last month (since June 19th). All 6 have been solo shots.
2008-07-23 09:57:02
95.   El Lay Dave
78 As a commenter service, I will provide here the substantive parts of that article:
.
.
.
You are welcome.
2008-07-23 09:58:45
96.   Scanman33
Fox Sports is blocked here at work. Maybe this filter isn't so bad after all.
2008-07-23 09:58:53
97.   El Lay Dave
93 Truth, justice, and the Dodger way to play baseball!
2008-07-23 10:00:05
98.   Scanman33
93-Everything would work out fine until the moment you move the trash can away from your portion of the Supercave.
2008-07-23 10:00:48
99.   sporky
93 And saving Ned from himself... at least for the next week or so.
2008-07-23 10:01:02
100.   D4P
Matt Kemp has hit 6 home runs in about the last month (since June 19th). All 6 have been solo shots

And here I woulda thought batting behind Berroaza and the pitcher woulda meant a buncha 3-run jacks for Kemp.

Show/Hide Comments 101-150
2008-07-23 10:01:08
101.   underdog
93 Yes! Using your special powers to fight the poisonous Diamondback and the toxic, mutated Giant.
2008-07-23 10:02:07
102.   El Lay Dave
94 Four in the #1 spot in the batting order, one while batting second behind JP.
2008-07-23 10:03:19
103.   Bob Timmermann
When I play Scrabulous against people, I keep wanting to spell "FANER."

It's not a word.

2008-07-23 10:06:23
104.   fanerman
103 As a librarian, don't you have the authority to declare things as words or not?
2008-07-23 10:07:30
105.   fanerman
Maybe if you're last name was Timmerman instead of Timmermann, you'd be a superhero and that could be your power.
2008-07-23 10:08:12
106.   Bob Timmermann
104
I just get to tell people that they can't check out the one book they need more than anything else in the world.
2008-07-23 10:08:14
107.   Tripon
You'll have to register with Iron Man if you want to play in the Marvel universe.
2008-07-23 10:09:11
108.   sporky
What superpowers does a Weisman have?
2008-07-23 10:09:53
109.   Bob Hendley
79 - "Has Jeff Kent done anything bad this season (besides getting old)? He seems to be on decent behavior".

There was that one incident when he called out the younger players in the press for their lack of "passion" for the game. In isolation, not too bad, but it added to Ned's badmouthing of the kids. One might expect better from a teammate.

2008-07-23 10:10:24
110.   Bob Timmermann
108
He is able to summon up the hitting power of Al Weis whenever he needs it.
2008-07-23 10:11:18
111.   Jon Weisman
NPUT
2008-07-23 10:12:37
112.   underdog
Speaking of which, Bob, have you heard there's an official Scrabble application for Facebook now? But it sounds horribly buggy; the reviews posted on FB don't sound too good. Scrabulous still sounds like a better bet at the moment.

I'm still afraid to play vs. you but will give it a go as long as I can use "Faner."

2008-07-23 10:14:31
113.   Bob Hendley
110 - Al Weis circa 69 WS?
2008-07-23 10:14:57
114.   fanerman
112 Soon, I will gain entry into dictionaries, just like "kwyijbo" and "cromulent."

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