BC

Maybe I should go out to Huntington this weekend and hit fungoes.

During the early innings, I deflected a couple when they were mere inches from my grandmother's face. Then, about the 7th inning, she was cracked square in the back of the head by a sneak attack from behind. That infuriated me.

I'm a young guy; I can rationalize the interference with my enjoyment of the game. I just tell myself that my fun is not any more important than anyone else's (and people do enjoy the beach balls; there was far more hooting and hollering all game long about the beach balls than there was about the game itself.)

But $60 for the "right" to have your grandmother assaulted? That's where my patience ends.

But hey, I'm an New Yorker. (Believe me, there are plenty of amatuer-hour theatrics in the Bronx that turn my stomach as well.) The sporting scene has such a different vibe in Los Angeles. I've been to one game at Dodger Stadium, and I went to the Forum once, and to the Downtown Sports Arena (I think it was called) to see the Clippers play a half a dozen times.

I was really aware at the Forum that the basketball game seemed secondary to a good portion of the crowd. The crowd itself was the show; or at least, they were consumed with themselves, not the game. And it wasn't necessarily bad. They appeared to be perfectly content entertaining themselves, but it took me off guard.

The thing the really struck me about both the Forum and Dodger Stadium was just how clean they were. Damn, the bathrooms were sparkling. And the consessions were elevated to an art form.

In New York, the facilities are grand but bummy at the same time. The Yankees are most arrogant about this. They know you are going to pay to show up anyway, so they don't make any effort to serve good food or to keep the place clean and tidy. Sure, it's a lot different than it was in the late 70s, early 80s, when Bill Russell, Steve Garvey and company were just offended by the sheer lawlessness of the place, but still the conessions are awful and over-priced, and the bathrooms are mad sketchy. At least on the tier level.

Anyhow, I know I'm getting off the topic, but yo, the beachball phenomenon is just something that is hard for a New Yorker to identify with. The mentality of someone who would be amped to bring one to the game is completely alien to me.

Tell me, how many fights break out due to beach balls? I don't get the sense that Dodger fans are necessarily passive. I hear the games against the Giants get mad testy.

Part of the beachball culture appears to be the thrill of keeping them away from the ushers who try to get them. It's everyone's chance to be an outlaw.

I think I'd like to hear from - and I'll offer them amnesty if they appear - people who aren't bothered by the increasing beachball presence at the game, and whether they care or not about them detracting from the fans who just want to watch the game. Would anything I've said today actually cause someone to rethink their fondness for beachballs?

(Oh, and the Yankee Stadium bathrooms must be really bad, because I would hardly call Dodger Stadium's sparkling. It's not skid row in there, but it's pretty bus-station like to me.)

The wrap around screen is another issue. It's unobtrusive for the most part, but occassionally on some ads (like Bank of America's) it becomes a blinding shade of red, and it's nearly impossible to focus on the game. (I can't imagine it's all that pleasing to see when you're pitching either.)

Thanks for the site too.

The beach balls would drive me nuts. Just let me watch the game, ya know?

And now, on to the beachballs. But in a separate post.

And Yankee Stadium is more properly called the Bus Station Urinal That Ruth Built. Yet it has a lovely fake plastic facade in the outfield. Honestly, Shea is nicer, it's just dated.

Much worse than beachballs were the Bronx yayhoos who kept yelling at the players (from the upper deck, natch). When Brian Roberts got spiked and was laid out for about 10 minutes, the guy behind me yelled "ah, rub some dirt on it!" Which was funny, but the 99 times he repeated it after that--not so much. And the random Dominican guy who kept yelling "Saaaaaammy Sooooossssa!....eyyyy!" every time Sosa saw a pitch. But after A-Rod hit a weak groundball to end a rally, and I yelled "stop slapping at the ball, Alex!" well, nobody thought that was funny.

There's a thought: since Vinnie is more or less the voice of a Higher Being in Dodger Stadium, get him to tape an anti-beachball message and play it between the first few innings.

I beg to differ on the Dodger bathrooms. Although the lighting is bad and they are old, they ARE clean and there is always paper to dry your hands.

I don't care much about the beachballs. I am just glad I am at the game. With a 9 month old daughter, getting to the game is much more difficult than it has ever been.

I know we are not supposed to lament on Wed's game but I did think of your article about Tracy and the bullpen when he mishandled them completely by not taking Weaver out and then not leaving Schmoll in.

Tonite is a new game against a new team. Let's see if we could get a win.

Big, there were two Jons on our team - the other Jon pitches. So maybe it was his shins?

One thing that bugged me about the story, though, was the implication that Tracy deserves the credit for the bullpen's performance. Who does the Times think put together this group of "no-namers"? I would think DePo merits at least a mention in the story, espencially since these seven guys make a combined salary of just $2.7 million.

Congrats on the anniversary. I like Tracy in general and think he's the best manager in the bigs, but I think he has made some mistakes:
1. pinch hitting of Choi.
2. Perez batting with bases loaded.
3. leaving weaver in.
4. general handling of the Choi situation.

I've probably been to a couple of hundred concerts in my life. Never could imagine concertgoers exhibiting such behavior.

We'll, then again...a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (Ontario), I went to the original California Jam. A great set by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer ended the show, at which time anout a hundred or so idiots started heaving gallon jugs of water as far as they could through the air. All it would have taken is for one of those jugs to have hit someone it the back of the head to break their neck. I still get infuriated when I think about it.

What does that anecdote have to do with beachballs? Oh, nothing, I guess. It just bugs the hell out of me that we have to put up with that kind of nonsense.

And on that note, I'd like once again to propose putting beachball snipers on the light standards...

I used to be mildly annoyed, but tolerant of the beachballs. But one game last season amped that up to pretty pissed off. I went with my usual compansions, one of whom brought his infant son to the game. They were hitting the beach balls pretty hard in the pavilions that night, and we all spent most of the game playing human shield for the little 'un. So I sympathize with Hungerford Devil; a similar principle applies. Maybe it is time to have Vin do a PSA.

Congrats on your anniversary, Jon!

The beachballs were also common (how they fit with hostility, I've no idea), and one woman, after being hit twice with one, had enough. She grabbed it and popped it.

Whereupon she was screamed at, and had three seperate people throw full drinks at her, along with various other things. Her husband ran for security, and 10 minutes later the two of them were escorted out.

I agree about the beachballs. It used to be a slightly amusing diversion when there were only a few of them per game. Now it's like every deck has a few going on at any given time. I remember being in the reserved level and seeing a guy catch a ball at the front row, tease the crowd, then toss it over the edge, where it drifted all the way to the field level. He was booed and cursed mercilessly, even by guys who were there with their little kids. It was ridiculous. I've never popped one that came to me before, but I've wanted to. And I can't promise to refrain next time.

Am I the only guy who would be shocked if a woman flat-out asked him out? It's happened to me once, via e-mail. It was like a miracle. I've said a hundred times that if I'm asked, there's a 95% chance I'll say yes, if only to reward her for having the ovaries. Meeting a woman with that kind of confidence in herself is just so rare. Too bad for me that guys like Jon snatch them up so quickly!

Pure and simple. If we view the issue in these terms, we may be able to get Congressional action on the matter.

The 99 cents store sells a lot of the beach balls that get brough to Dodger Stadium and so I boycott that store out of principle. I'm sure they miss my business. Maybe I should come to their store with a fungo bat and hit baseballs around while people are shopping.
I'm thinking that may not be wise.

I feel so left out at games some time because I go to, you know, WATCH THE GAME.

But here's the problem the Dodgers face with beach balls:
1) the fans obviously like them
2) the ushers have to try to confiscate them because they are a safety issue
3) if the Dodgers really crack down on them, then there will be a PR backlash from Plaschke and Simers

Signs outside Dodger Stadium do explicitly ban beachballs. And I have seen people near me inflate them. I wanted to say something to the guy except for him being larger, with friends, and having consumed several beers.

One day I will catch a beach ball in my section and pop it with pen.

When that day happens, I want you to all promise to come visit me in the hospital the next day as I recover from my severe beating.

Oh, and congrats Jon!

On my first date, in high school, the girl asked me out. I assumed it was the way it was supposed to work.

Five years later, I decided to do the asking myself and found it to be a highly effective method of finding people to go out with you.

http://tinyurl.com/czvro

Beach balls and the wave belongs at the beach.

The only things I hate more that beach balls and the wave are Rally Monkeys, ThunderStix and idiots on their cell phones calling attention to themselves on TV.

I do my best to stop the beach balls. If I'm keeping score, I grab them and stab 'em with my pencil. If not keeping score, I use my keys. I've yet to bite a ball and come up with a mouthful of plastic and turn and stare at the crowd like I'm a mad man. That may be next.

Perhaps I should script a Romeo and Juliet love story about a beachball hater who asks out a beachball lover, and gets turned down, only to have the beachball lover come around and ask the beachball hater out, and they fall in love despite the beachball war going on all around them.

Can it only end tragically?

The oddest place I've ever seen a beachball: the movie theater! I was at the midnight show for Star Wars episode 2 and a couple beach balls popped out.

Oh, and I've never seen anyone blow up a beach ball either...odd.

A few of you mentioned concerts. The one thing I hate about concerts is crowd surfers. I don't mind the occasional guy/gal surfing but it gets annoying when I'm trying to support more than one person at the same time. I'm not that tall, 6 feet, but crowd surfers always seem to crash into the back of me head/neck and I hate it. I hate the fact that I have to use my full attention on people surfing from behind me. I'd rather be watching the guitar player/s so that I can learn how to play certain songs.

Anyway, there were a couple of beachball delays during the game, and I admit that I was steamed. It just seems rude.

My favorite delay of game, that I witnessed, was when Koufax was pitching (yes, I'm pretty old) and someone floated a paper airplane out on to the field. Sandy stopped the pitching routine and watched the plane....which kept floating and landed at his feet on the mound! You could hear a pin drop. Smiling, Sandy picked up the plane and walked it over to a ballboy.

Oh, and Jon, take it from a geezer married over 20 years...it can get even better. Congrats.

A young gentleman in the front row of our section had tied his misprinted blanket onto the railing as a banner. When an usher showed up around the 7th to make him take it down, he argued for a while, then shouted "GO DODGERS" right into the usher's face. Security materialized and escorted the fan and his mom from the premises.

They weren't the only ones standing in the aisles. It seemed that a lot of folks were hanging out talking to friends, sharing nachos or something, necessitating a lot of neck-craning to, you know, see the game.

If you're taking up a collection to fund the Inflatable Sniper Corps, I'll kick in a few bucks.

The only times I can tolerate beachballs is when I see a 45 year old man with tattoos and a harley davidson t-shirt scream out like a child who has seen Spongebob Squarepants. "BEACHBALL....YAY!!!" Of course, this is only humorous the first time during the game. Once the seventh or eighth beachball reaches my section and it is only the top of the third inning, I've had more than my share.

I hate beach balls. HATE them.

By the way, otherwise, that was an awesome game. Pedro struck out 12 on his way to a 3 hitter. It was my birthday and my first (so far only) trip to Fenway. The only Blue Jay batter Pedro didn't strike out that night? Shawn Green.

Aside from being the night of Choi's first Dodger HR, it was also calendar night, which were poster-sized calendars with player photos on them (pretty nice, actually).

Unfortunately, I think I was the only person to take mine home, as the rest of the posters turned into the World's Largest Paper Airplanes.

All night they were flying onto the field and nailing people in the backs of their heads and necks. My friend had his 9-month-old with him, and I couldn't stop envisioning one of these things sticking right into one of his newborn eyes, or one of mine for that matter.

I'm 29 years old, evoking the "put your eye out" line--incredible.

Anyway, I think giveaways are stupid, and I think the masses are even stupider. I attend a game and feel like an alien visitor from another planet. There is no way I can be of the same species as these monkeys.

Jon, you asked this question earlier:
"Would anything I've said today actually cause someone to rethink their fondness for beachballs?"

I'd say yes. But there isn't much I can do since I've never actually brought a beach ball to a game. I try to be as considerate as possible so now I feel bad for everyone that has to put up with this.

Actually, my guess is that wouldn't happen. Most sports scribes consider themselves baseball purists and traditionalists. When it comes to the Dodgers, they like the Stadium, the green grass, the grilled Dodger Dogs, and Nancy Bea Hefley. They don't like electronic sound effects, advertising on the outfield wall, and beachballs--if only because they suggest that not everyone's paying attention.

Jon, I'm with you. Last season, I took my son to a critical late season game against Colorado. We sat in the field level, way out in left field, so that to see the action anywhere near the mound or batter's box, you had to face to your right. Next to us was a family with about four young kids. If I hadn't finally said something to their parents, they would have stood up the entire game, tracking beachballs in hopes that one of these magic bubbles would land near them. A ball could start flying in the right field loge, and they'd jump to their feet, waiting for their chance to bop it.

Fine, not all kids care about or understand baseball, but their constant standing meant we couldn't see the game unless we stood up, too. What really irritated me was their parents' attitude when I finally complained. To them, this is what they had paid for--five seats in a place where their kids could smear themselves with ketchup and ice cream, and bounce around chasing beachballs. My objection was seen as pure meanness, like I didn't get it.

Maybe I don't get it. But I hate to think I have to cadge corporate-level seats if I want to enjoy the game for itself, that if I just buy a ticket, I'm consigning myself to sitting where paying attention to the game makes you a bothersome freak.

P.S. You're right about Weaver. He's better than he was when he was with the Yankees, but he's still got some growing up to do if he wants to be a bigtime pitcher, and I'm not sure he's going to get there.

P.P.S. Wonderful tribute to your wife! I'm sure I don't have to remind you, but count your blessings, especially this one.

Beachball batting can be dangerous. It's only a matter of time before someone gets hurt if someone hasn't been hurt already. How's this for a public address announcement?

"Any one seen batting a beachball will be removed from the stadium. Thank you and enjoy the game!"

Now would be a good time for this. It will be manadatory after someone gets clocked. You'll get headlines, articles left and right, talk show fodder... followed by the PA announcement. Let's beat the rush, Dodgers. Make the announcement now.

And let me put it in bold: Happy Anniversary, Weisman's!!

I'll have fifteen years under my belt come Bastille Day, 2005. May you reach that and many more. Congratulations.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/wire?section=mlb&id=2049944

A guy can't even show a little team spirit. I'll bet the giants complained.

A 95% chance you'd say yes? And you call yourself aloofman? :)

Can't be aloof ALL the time, can I?

I thought I was the only really annoyed by those damn beachballs. Field level Aisle 51 is where beachballs come to die. My buddies and I took out three of those things last game. We're all pretty big guys, so the worst we got was a deflated ball thrown at us. But there was a guy who took our cue and popped one, he was rocked by beer and food.

First of all , why would you waste a $7 beer. Second, the guy who popped the ball was escorted out not the bastards who threw stuff on him. I don't get it.

I hate those things. Though the BALCO one on opening day was hilarious.