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About Jon
Thank You For Not ...

1) using profanity or any euphemisms for profanity
2) personally attacking other commenters
3) baiting other commenters
4) arguing for the sake of arguing
5) discussing politics
6) using hyperbole when something less will suffice
7) using sarcasm in a way that can be misinterpreted negatively
8) making the same point over and over again
9) typing "no-hitter" or "perfect game" to describe either in progress
10) being annoyed by the existence of this list
11) commenting under the obvious influence
12) claiming your opinion isn't allowed when it's just being disagreed with

The Stupidest Thing I Ever Did on the Job
2007-08-14 22:33
by Jon Weisman
Note: The Dodger Thoughts blog has moved to the Los Angeles Times.

Without thinking, I once shouted across the Daily News newsroom a joke that I was getting fired - while someone about 20 feet away from me actually was getting fired.

My joke went one direction, right as security was escorting the guy the opposite direction.

And there was nowhere for me to hide.

Kind of like how Mark Sweeney was going one way (jogging to second on a one-out pop fly well behind home plate), and a chance at tying the game was going the other way, and by the time he was doubled up at first base, there was nowhere for him to hide, either.

I don't think the Dodgers had had their two-runners-out-on-one-play-at-the-plate moment yet this year, but now they have.

Forget it, Mark. It's Chinatown.

Comments (161)
Show/Hide Comments 1-50
2007-08-14 22:41:16
1.   Eric Enders
I was wondering whether this post was going to be about Mark Sweeney, or the Jacksonville assistant GM.
2007-08-14 22:45:53
2.   trainwreck
1
Perhaps Mark has the same issue. It would help explain things.
2007-08-14 22:46:37
3.   max power
A play like that can't help your flu.
2007-08-14 22:49:29
4.   Greg Brock
Jon likes to take terrible situations and put them in perspective. All level-headed like.

WELL GOOD FOR YOU ME NO HAPPY ME NOT LEVEL HEADED. BROCK WANT BLOOD.

2007-08-14 22:53:40
5.   Daniel Zappala
Brock needs to run around in the wild for a bit and hunt with a bow and arrow.
2007-08-14 22:54:04
6.   Eric Stephen
1 I didn't know if the Jacksonville story, but here is the link:

http://tinyurl.com/2jd3ju

2007-08-14 22:54:37
7.   trainwreck
It is probably sad that I learned who Phil Rizzuto was from Billy Madison.
2007-08-14 22:54:42
8.   gpellamjr
5 Hm. I thought the same thing, only I pictured him hunting with his bare hands and his teeth.
2007-08-14 22:55:15
9.   trainwreck
I mean Phil Rirruto.
2007-08-14 22:55:35
10.   underdog
I have to say that Icaros and D4P were most pleasant company tonight as we watched the game together on TV. Too bad the same can't be sad for the Dodgers, those little teases. I almost feel sorry for Mark Sweeney because no one needs to tell him what a boneheaded mistake that was (although Pierre at bats almost do seem to count as two outs), but it does kind of sum up the Dodgers' month. Anyway, if the three of us weren't watching together I suspect that each of our TVs and/or computer screens would have been broken.

Me want to cry, but cry not manly so me go off to corner and sulk and watch Futurama and pine for football season earlier than I would've liked.

2007-08-14 22:55:50
11.   Robert Daeley
"See, Mr. Gitts, most people never have to face the fact that, at the right time and the right place, they're capable of...anything!"
2007-08-14 22:56:08
12.   Bob Timmermann
I decided not to tell someone today who said she hoped one of her parents would die (because he had been ill a long time), that today was the day my mother died.

August 14 has been worse for me.

2007-08-14 22:57:03
13.   Scanman33
So Jose Offerman made some good contact...
2007-08-14 22:57:06
14.   Lexinthedena
6- The kid didn't have to snitch...

"Mind if I do a J?"

2007-08-14 22:57:11
15.   Kevin Lewis
Here is my thought process watching the game live in the 9th inning.

(Hmmm, Pierre popped it up, oh man, why can't he come through in the clutch. Hey, why is Berkman jumping up and down so much, he must be excited they got the out so easily)

Then my eyes scan the base, I jump up, and yell, "What are you doing?"

My guess is Mark thought there were two down instead of one. Hey, at least we didn't lose 12-0

2007-08-14 22:57:58
16.   Jon Weisman
4 - Honestly, I think I have grown so fatalisic ... I don't know. I yelled at Pierre for popping up, but when I saw what happened after, I just stared.
2007-08-14 22:59:01
17.   El Lay Dave
11 Is that about Sweeney or Offerman?
2007-08-14 22:59:06
18.   Scanman33
Why do I have the feeling that if a young player did what Sweeney did, they'd be on the first bus to Vegas?

Of course, you have to go 4 for 4 in this organization to get that kind of treatment.

2007-08-14 22:59:55
19.   preacherroe
I hit myself in the face with a hammer putting a door jamb on a door once and got mad and threw the hammer threw the window on another door.
A few years later I didn't tighten the radiator cap on a company truck and drove out of Tucson in the middle of summer to a job.On the way back in the engine blew up.
All in a day's work.
2007-08-14 23:00:35
20.   Lexinthedena
18- oof....This is feeling a Dodger roast....

The Dodgers lose more games than Flavor Flav has lost custody battles!...something like that....

Yeeeeeeeah Boooooooy!

2007-08-14 23:00:55
21.   MMSMikey
went to see the bourne ultimatum tonight, and got in the car just in time to hear the bottom of the 9th. theres just nothing to say.
2007-08-14 23:01:24
22.   Jon Weisman
17 - Offerman wasn't mad about getting hit by a pitch. Offerman was watching the Dodger game.
2007-08-14 23:02:03
23.   Greg Brock
I might even buy good seats and get back into ragging like the good ole days.

"Hey Sweeney, mix in a view at the scoreboard, MEAT! I've seen smarter ballplayers at the special olympics! If this was little leauge you'd be fetching foul balls and keeping score! You are TERRIBLE!"

2007-08-14 23:02:06
24.   Eric Stephen
I think this best sums up Greg Brock's reaction to tonight's game:

http://tinyurl.com/3a58ws

2007-08-14 23:02:09
25.   xaphor
13 . He'll be lucky if he doesn't spend some quality time avoiding contact.
2007-08-14 23:02:38
26.   Lexinthedena
Offerman saying to himself "I could have done that!"
2007-08-14 23:02:41
27.   Eric Enders
My favorite Lasorda quote ever was when somebody asked him what "Catch 22" meant, and he said it's what Offerman would do if you hit him 100 grounders.
2007-08-14 23:03:41
28.   grandcosmo
12. Today was HM's birthday. Exactly 8 years OLDER than Earl Weaver. But ten years younger than Daffy Dean.
2007-08-14 23:03:50
29.   gpellamjr
The stupidest thing I ever did at work was a joke I made in class about why I enjoyed the Passion of the Christ movie. I didn't realize how many Catholics there are in Ohio, or were among my students, but they didn't think I was very funny that day. I was never punished for it, but I did have to explain the situation to my TA supervisor and peers in a TA seminar.
2007-08-14 23:03:51
30.   Lexinthedena
27- That got me....I've really got the chuckles now....
2007-08-14 23:03:55
31.   El Lay Dave
22 Offerman took one in the calf and was mad that, unexpectedly, Shea Hillenbrand wasn't available to take his place.
2007-08-14 23:04:15
32.   Eric Stephen
For some reason, I can't wait to hear of news involving Chad Fonville now.
2007-08-14 23:04:15
33.   nofatmike
22. He's probably jealous that Burke was able to complete 8 assists...
2007-08-14 23:04:23
34.   Jon Weisman
27 - I thought that was a Johnny Carson line.
2007-08-14 23:04:53
35.   Scanman33
Offerman showing Saenz how to REALLY mash a lefty...
2007-08-14 23:05:20
36.   Greg Brock
24 I actually just shook my head and laughed. I love this type of stuff. Doubled off a foul out? Awesome.
2007-08-14 23:05:51
37.   Lexinthedena
34- does that make Tommy the Carlos Mencia of baseball humorists?
2007-08-14 23:06:27
38.   Eric Stephen
36 I just wanted an excuse to watch that Farley commercial again. That is an underrated Farley skit.
2007-08-14 23:06:49
39.   Jon Weisman
Diamond Leung reacts:

http://www.beloblog.com/Pe_Blogs/baseball/dodgers/2007/08/wanna_get_away.html

2007-08-14 23:06:59
40.   Gen3Blue
I'm glad I fell asleep in the 7th and just woke up. Reading through the posts I'll have plenty of analysis to do in the morning. But not as much as poor McCourt will have to try and figure out this ring that has been funneling money(much of it his) to worthless old vets.
2007-08-14 23:07:24
41.   El Lay Dave
This season Juan Pierre has bunted a bloop double over the 3B's head and hit a full-swing, legitimate foul pop to the C for a double play.

Your Los Angeles Dodgers.

2007-08-14 23:07:35
42.   nofatmike
27 Worst fielding shortstop I have ever seen.
2007-08-14 23:07:42
43.   Eric Enders
36 My first reaction was also laughter. And then joy at the sheer appropriateness of it. And then eagerness to read what Greg Brock and Tony Jackson and the Dodger Blues guy would have to say about it.
2007-08-14 23:07:51
44.   Icaros
27

No way. I saw Carson, as Carnac, do that exact same joke about the LA Dodgers and 100 flyballs in about 1986.

2007-08-14 23:08:14
45.   Greg Brock
38 Agree. And thanks for posting it. I haven't seen it in years. Lord, I miss Farley.

"Tommy want wingee"

2007-08-14 23:08:19
46.   Bob Timmermann
My mom was born 10 months before Earl Weaver and in the same city.
2007-08-14 23:08:36
47.   xaphor
37 . But nobody could do a pratfall like Tommy.
2007-08-14 23:09:17
48.   Eric Stephen
The main picture on Dodger Blues right now is pretty good.
2007-08-14 23:09:35
49.   D4P
Does Pierre get credit for 2 "Outs" on that last play...?
2007-08-14 23:10:20
50.   LAT
I actually checked for a new thread before I was going to post this.

Can you imagine if any of us did that at our job. Not sure what the equalivant is but what if Brock forgot to put on pants before going to class? What if Bob rearranged the little decimal stickers on the spines of all the books? There would be heck to pay, especially if it was your first week on the job. This will just get swept under the rug. For a team big on character there ain't much accountability.

BTW,
Forget it, Mark. It's Chinatown.
Perfect line, Jon.

Show/Hide Comments 51-100
2007-08-14 23:10:21
51.   Eric Enders
34 Maybe it was a Carson line. But at the time Carson retired, Offerman had never played more than 52 games in a season.
2007-08-14 23:10:26
52.   Greg Brock
Hanging with Icaros, underdog, and the other guy was probably a pretty fun time. If they could recreate their reaction to the end of the game and post it to youtube...Much appreciated.
2007-08-14 23:10:41
53.   Lexinthedena
Dodgerblues is a treasure...I feel lucky to have it....
2007-08-14 23:11:55
54.   Greg Brock
Not sure what the equalivant is but what if Brock forgot to put on pants before going to class?

What do you mean, "if?"

2007-08-14 23:12:22
55.   Bob Timmermann
What if Bob rearranged the little decimal stickers on the spines of all the books?

We can misplace them just fine without my help.

2007-08-14 23:12:39
56.   grandcosmo
46. I wouldn't have thought he was from the Gateway City.

Just to comapare he is 8 years younger and has been retired for 21 years.

2007-08-14 23:15:07
57.   skybluestoday
I have tried very hard not to give up, but I think I'm through with that now.

Season feels like it's pretty much over. Is this hyperbole? I don't even watch or listen to the games now, despite the venerable and precious presence of Mr. Scully.

I don't quite remember feeling this way during the post-All Star break last year, and I listened to darn near every game even in 2005. But not too long ago I just threw in the towel on the present season.

I am enormously pleased that we haven't (yet) traded the farm. This may ameliorate things a bit for me. Or mollify me. Not sure which yet.

2007-08-14 23:15:10
58.   Icaros
52

We were actually in the middle of a conversation and didn't even notice what happened until the Astros were out shaking hands.

2007-08-14 23:16:47
59.   Eric Enders
58 So your reaction was pretty much the same as Sweeney's.
2007-08-14 23:17:25
60.   dodgerkramer1
Yeah, Sweeney made a dumb play. Real dumb.

But we are being way too optimistic if we think the Dodgers had any chance of tying the score.

Kemp would have made the 3rd out, and we all know it. Or the next batter.

I mean, have you been watching the same team I've been watching the last few weeks?

2007-08-14 23:18:05
61.   underdog
52 In my head it was much like that Chris Farley hidden camera ad reaction, but a sense of decorum was called for since it was Icaros apt. and he has a nice TV and I didn't want to break it. My cats are glad I wasn't home though. I think it would just be video of three of us sitting there in quiet disbelief and shock.
---

"'Course I'm respectable. I'm old. Politicians, ugly buildings, and whores {underdog: and veteran baseball players} all get respectable if they last long enough."

2007-08-14 23:19:08
62.   LAT
Pretty good line by Diamond Leung.
2007-08-14 23:19:58
63.   underdog
Even Scully admitted he missed it live because he was filling out his scorecard (in the rote section for "Pierre: Out"). Too bad Sweeney missed it too, and he was on the basepaths.

60 Yeah, they've been pathetic, but Kemp has pop and hit a home run earlier in the game, and the fact that he was coming up gave me a teeny bit of hope, scant and naive as it was.

2007-08-14 23:20:19
64.   Icaros
53

Sadly, it was only the second out, the third coming a second later when Sweeney was doubled up at first. Maybe he was daydreaming about Barry Bonds, maybe he figured the Dodgers always have two outs, or maybe couldn't wait to get back to the clubhouse and help Pierre blow out his candles.

Wonderful.

2007-08-14 23:21:17
65.   Eric Enders
60 Kemp has homered in 4.6 percent of his at-bats this year. So I was still listening based on that 4.6 percent chance that Lucy wouldn't pull the football back.
2007-08-14 23:21:19
66.   Gen3Blue
Come to think of it--this spiral began with the JP contract. I admit at the time I didn't know much about him but was surprised by the vehemence I could feel through the net! And it has just gone down hill since. Amazing.
2007-08-14 23:21:20
67.   underdog
Night! This month is like a bad dream for Dodger fans, and I'm hoping when I wake up tomorrow I'll find out that's all it was. Sort of like finding out JR Ewing was just in the shower all that time, or Bob Newhart was in bed with Suzanne Pleshette.
2007-08-14 23:21:52
68.   Xeifrank
First thing I thought of when Sweeney got doubled up in the 9th was that he must still be working for the Giants in an attempt to ruin our season, or atleast pour salt in our wounds. vr, Xei
2007-08-14 23:22:50
69.   Lexinthedena
Hope this isn't a rule 1 violation....but Dodgerblues once called Mike Trombley "Rustier than a mechanic's Penis"....I'm laughing hard just typing it...genius...
2007-08-14 23:22:55
70.   Eric Enders
63 "he was filling out his scorecard (in the rote section for "Pierre: Out")."

Somebody could make some money by pre-printing scorecards with that notation.

2007-08-14 23:23:42
71.   das411
On August 15th, 1951, the Dodgers were 10.5 games ahead of the Giants.

On August 15th, 1991, the Giants were 7.5 games up on the Braves.

On August 15th, 1995, the Angels were 10.5 games ahead of Texas (12.5 up on Seattle, who hadn't yet learned how to refuse to lose).

Heck, on August 15th of last year the Tigers were 6.5 ahead of the White Sox, and the eventual division winning Twins were 8.5 back...what I'm trying to say is that there are still a LOT of games left in this season, folks. If these past few seasons of baseball have taught us anything, it's that no race or series is over until Bob tells them "Thank you for Playing" ;)

(also, baseballrace.com is ridiculously cool. have fun, everybody!)

2007-08-14 23:23:50
72.   El Lay Dave
60 Brad Lidge has been known to give up a big homer from time to time. Coulda happened.

You don't understand. They coulda had class. They coulda been a contender. They coulda been somebody, instead of bums, which is what they are, let's face it.

2007-08-14 23:23:54
73.   D4P
Is there a rule against making Sweeney the player to be named later...?
2007-08-14 23:24:44
74.   Eric Enders
71 "there are still a LOT of games left in this season, folks."

OK. So what's the good news?

2007-08-14 23:25:37
75.   Lexinthedena
73- Has that ever happened?....I feel like I've heard about it happening...maybe I just dreamt about it when I was 7....
2007-08-14 23:25:55
76.   Greg Brock
Let's give our side some credit. They're losing, but they are coming up with some great ways to lose. Balks, foul-out double plays...Think how cool it's gonna be when a blimp lands on the tying run rounding third base. Pretty cool, I'd say.

As a fan of crazy, I'm happy that we've been interestingly bad.

2007-08-14 23:26:13
77.   nofatmike
71 You're thinking about 1993, the Giants finished second-to-last in 1991.
2007-08-14 23:26:21
78.   El Lay Dave
67 Maybe it's more like finding out that the whole season exists only in the imagination of an autistic child peering into his snow globe.
2007-08-14 23:27:16
79.   Lexinthedena
76- There is a good Olmedo joke in there for anyone up to the task....
2007-08-14 23:27:34
80.   LAT
Look at the bright side. This makes it far less likely that we will have another idiotic base running gaff this season. Garp bought his house under the same theory.
2007-08-14 23:27:43
81.   El Lay Dave
74 Tomko and Hendrickson can't start them all.
2007-08-14 23:27:54
82.   PDH5204
48 53 First, I think I am displacing LAT as the poster of the last post after everyone has left the building, second, I too like Hendy getting pecked there, third, priceless from tonight's Dodger Blues:

Thread Title: If murder was legal, which Dodger would you kill first?

First answer: Brett Tomko. 2-10 and an ERA just below 5.70, why is this person allowed to live? I just don't understand. In the classy olden days of Rome, he would be fodder for gladiators, or just feed to lions. But that was then. These days, someone that s----- gets a multiyear contract for several million dollars."

2007-08-14 23:28:17
83.   El Lay Dave
73 Yes, but only because the Dodgers and the Giants are in the same league.
2007-08-14 23:29:12
84.   Eric Enders
75 Yeah, the guy was Harry Chiti. I believe Bob had a Griddle post about it. It's listed on Chiti's transactions at BB-Ref.
2007-08-14 23:29:17
85.   Greg Brock
"Base hit to center, and they're waving Ethier home...And OH MY GOD, A CHEETAH HAS ATTACKED ANDRE ETHIER! Ethier is down, and the cheetah is going for the neck! Blood everywhere! And Wiggington applies the tag! Dodgers lose!"
2007-08-14 23:29:41
86.   Eric Enders
Tony Jackson reports that Sweeney ducked the media after the game.
2007-08-14 23:29:59
87.   Eric Stephen
70 Eric, is your scorecard still in production?
2007-08-14 23:30:50
88.   Lexinthedena
86- If Tony Jackson was coming at me with a meat clever I would duck too....
2007-08-14 23:31:40
89.   El Lay Dave
76 Dude, I saw "Black Sunday". If a blimp descends on DS, get the heck outta there!
2007-08-14 23:31:52
90.   Icaros
85

Didn't Enrico Pallazzo umpire that game?

2007-08-14 23:32:31
91.   El Lay Dave
85 That seems a bit unlikely. Now, a cougar maybe....
2007-08-14 23:33:02
92.   Eric Enders
87 No, it's not. I sold about 1,000 of them, but I was filling all the orders myself and the small amount I made on each book made it not worth all the time I spent. I was going to try and sell the design to a real publisher, but never got around to it.
2007-08-14 23:33:11
93.   Bob Timmermann
I have never written about Harry Chiti on The Griddle. That's the first time someone thought they read something on there that they didn't. As opposed to forgetting to read it in the first place.

Remember, I'm vulnerable. I can keep using the same gambit that Larry David used for the next 27 minutes.

2007-08-14 23:33:26
94.   Lexinthedena
oof....

There was an actual meat cleaver killing....my bad....kind of like Wiseman's getting fired joke....:(

2007-08-14 23:33:37
95.   Greg Brock
90 Gold Star for Icaros.
91 I've been attacked by a cougar before. It isn't as bad as you'd think...
2007-08-14 23:34:21
96.   King of the Hobos
85 Instantly reminded of the Naked Gun blooper reel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANo605HfHQY

2007-08-14 23:34:32
97.   Eric Enders
Well, as symbolic endings to the season go, this one's probably better than getting two runners thrown out at home plate on one play.
2007-08-14 23:34:35
98.   Lexinthedena
95- It can be quite nice....
2007-08-14 23:35:26
99.   Bob Timmermann
If a blimp (presumably not piloted by terrorists) ran into anything at Dodger Stadium, it would likely just deflate and then the big problem would the gondola hitting someone.

But they move so slowly that it would be like the time the Air Force was chasing Sideshow Bob when he hijacked the Wright Brothers Flyer.

2007-08-14 23:38:15
100.   Lexinthedena
No baseball movie can hold a candle to the Naked Gun finale....pure brilliance....
Show/Hide Comments 101-150
2007-08-14 23:38:15
101.   scareduck
82 - where did you see that on Dodger Blues?

85 - that is one impressive roll you are on...

91 - http://tinyurl.com/94pej ... in practice, they're called Baseball Annies...

2007-08-14 23:38:21
102.   El Lay Dave
95 1. Relative to me, a cougar would have to be 60+
2. The damage to me from my wife would leave more scars on my face than Chuck Wepner after the Ali fight.
2007-08-14 23:39:11
103.   Greg Brock
99 You know, your slavish devotion to the rational is really gonna hamper our detective agency. You've gotta think outside the box when discussing blimps, Bob.
2007-08-14 23:39:19
104.   natepurcell
good news?

Pedro Baez hit a homerun today...off Pedro Martinez!

2007-08-14 23:40:11
105.   Eric Enders
103 I think Brock stole that last sentence from a Turtle-Drama conversation on Entourage.
2007-08-14 23:42:43
106.   Greg Brock
Enders has compared me to John Brown and Turtle/Drama today.

Talk about your peaks and valleys.

2007-08-14 23:43:07
107.   El Lay Dave
101 Thus Annie Savoy. From your link,
The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie

wind tunnel victim....

2007-08-14 23:46:42
108.   xaphor
107 . The companion to the Maxell man.
2007-08-14 23:47:45
109.   El Lay Dave
103 BTW - you two should not settle for a Mike Post theme. Go for something like Lalo Schifrin's "Mannix".
2007-08-14 23:54:26
110.   Greg Brock
109 Bob is more into the soft tones of Rockford. I'd like something like "Homicide" had.

I think a teacher/librarian detective agency show has some serious mileage. It's gone from joke to seriousness. But we need a recurring femme fatale. And a sweet yet intelligent secretary. Bob can have the sweet secretary. I'll take relations with the doomed broad.

2007-08-14 23:54:38
111.   natepurcell
haha, they just showed clips of Pedro and his GCL start on ESPN and they showed Kyle Orr striking out swinging. Awesome! why couldnt they show the Pedro Baez homerun?
2007-08-15 00:02:02
112.   El Lay Dave
a sweet yet intelligent secretary

too cliche! You don't need secretaries anymore; this is the iPhone age, unless you are going to be dyed-in-the-wool luddites. How about a sweet and intelligent graduate student that assists Bob in the most arcane research?

Make your femme fatale bordering on cougar.

2007-08-15 00:08:36
113.   Jacob Burch
I was also live at the game, and I just remember begging JP to do anything but get doubled up--pop up, walk, strike out or the odd thing of a hit.

When he popped up i excitedly started watching The Bison trying to envision a hero-making homerun when he started pointing curiously towards first rapidly. My heart sunk.

2007-08-15 00:08:58
114.   Linkmeister
112 And that grad student can be an intern, meaning no payroll required!
2007-08-15 00:09:17
115.   Greg Brock
I refuse to have BlackBerries and iPhones. Detectives have to have secretaries.

Replacing secretaries with iPhones is a sign of the apocalypse. I refuse to play that game.

2007-08-15 00:10:52
116.   Greg Brock
The role of Tess Trueheart will now be played by an iPhone.

You people make me sick.

2007-08-15 00:11:23
117.   LAT
103. I see Brock as David Addison from Moonlighting with a little Kojack thrown in. He is forced to repress the Sonny Crockett in him that's dying to get out.

Bob is Lennie Brisco with a hint of Joe Friday but secretly he wants to be Dennis McCloud casue he likes wearing cowboy hats in big cities.

2007-08-15 00:18:13
118.   xaphor
When the sun sets and the criminal element descends upon the city Bob the brainy librarian, Greg the quick witted professor and Jon the level headed leader leave their mild mannered occupations behind to become The Literary Three, defenders of justice, statistics, and the catcher's interference rule.

Accession the new season today!

2007-08-15 00:23:54
119.   Greg Brock
118 LAT is the lawyer that keeps us out of trouble. SB is the inner-city teacher that keeps us abreast of the urban environs. Marty is our super-secret contact at the Times. BH uses his entertainment contacts to grant us access. Canuck is our point man up north.

We have contacts in North Carolina, San Fran, South America, Canada. Charenton is our point man in Europe. We're like the A-Team, but nerdier, less violent, and less dependent on Mr. T.

2007-08-15 00:31:23
120.   Linkmeister
119 And what the heck am I, your travel agent?

Harrumph!

2007-08-15 00:33:26
121.   Andrew Shimmin
120- Aren't you the competition. You're only one Ferrari away from being Magnum P.I.
2007-08-15 00:35:39
122.   Linkmeister
121 Right. Like I'd wear a Tigers cap.
2007-08-15 00:35:46
123.   PDH5204
101 Sorry, but had to make some roster moves on my Yahoo fantasy teams before the nightly deadline and so you'll find the material on the "Fan Forum" section of the site, and when there, open the Brewers 16, Dodgers 1 topic and then you should find as one of the threads, If murder was legal, which Dodger would you kill first?
2007-08-15 00:38:21
124.   xaphor
122 . Can we take that as an endorsement of the 'stache?
2007-08-15 00:40:54
125.   Linkmeister
124 But of course! After all, I've worn one myself since about 1972.

I always have wanted to use my eyebrows the way Magnum did, but I've never been able to.

2007-08-15 01:07:23
126.   Greg Brock
I don't include Linkmeister because he is the contingency plan.

One day, Bob and I are going to make a huge mistake. We're gonna need to lay low for awhile. And Linkmeister will be our secret weapon. Except now he can't be our secret weapon, because he's gone and ruined the whole thing.

You were our contingency plan, Linkmeister! And now we have no contingency!

2007-08-15 01:11:16
127.   Greg Brock
Linkmeister went from being the ace in the hole to being an exposed asset.

A lesson to all the DTers. You may be an asset. Don't talk about your exclusion. You've all been factored in. We need you.

This is basic spy stuff, guys.

2007-08-15 01:12:47
128.   PDH5204
I don't know if anyone has commented on this yet, but from Plaschke:

"Derek Lowe was careful, but clear.

"To go with a total youth movement is not fair to the veterans, and not fair to the city," Lowe said. "I am a firm believer that you use the minor league system to help the major league team now. You try to win today, and four years from now, you will probably have a kid just as good as the one you got rid of.""

Someone a little upset that we didn't get Tex? I'll otherwise leave Derek to explain just how he thinks that it can be said that he, Jeff, Nomar, and Gonzo are getting it done...

2007-08-15 01:24:39
129.   Greg Brock
Do you have mermaid parties beneath the sea?
(Am I invited?)
And at these parties do you smoke sea-weed?
(If so, then how do you light it?)

I wish I was that smart. I envy that kind of genius.

2007-08-15 01:33:38
130.   dzzrtRatt
128 Can't really blame him. Lowe has no stake in the Dodgers' future beyond the length of his contract. He could care less if the Dodgers are world champs in 2012. But Lowe is also wrong, unless Teixiera is immune to slumps. We have some good hitters, too. But they're not hitting right now.
2007-08-15 01:51:24
131.   GMac In The 909
7 I was thinking that very same thing today, er, yesterday.

9 "I hate cursive, and I hate all of you!"

On that note, "That Veronica Vaughn is one fine piece of (omitted to avoid violating rule No. 1)."

2007-08-15 02:00:24
132.   El Lay Dave
128 On the other hand, the collective bargaining agreement heavily favors the veterans over the younger players, let alone the farmhands. Given the compensation, I think life is plenty fair for the vets.

Derek Lowe treats the prospects like some armchair GMs treat the owner's money.

2007-08-15 02:05:19
133.   El Lay Dave
130 Correct. Lowe is here through next year, after which he and Scott Boras will seek at least a Schmidt-like contract from the highest bidder. That search would likely be enhanced by recent playoff and World Series appearances, eh? Witness Jeff Weaver, Jeff Suppan, Carlos Beltran.
2007-08-15 06:25:20
134.   Ken Noe
After all this, I'm having lunch with a die-hard Astros fan. Wheee. At least as a Virginia Tech grad, I know my UNC-grad friend will bring up the Michael Vick plea bargain. Good times.

Plaschke: If LaRoche comes up when healthy to take over third, I will spend the winter contentedly. If Hillenbrand keeps the job, it means Ned is signing Bonds over the winter to replace Gonzo.

133 Given Boras, the potential money, the lack of run support, and personal issues, I already consider Lowe to be Dead Man Pitching.

2007-08-15 06:35:50
135.   gpellamjr
134 At least Bonds is a good hitter.
2007-08-15 07:42:33
136.   Bob Timmermann
I think people were reading a bit too much into Derek Lowe's comments. Derek isn't exactly the guy on the Dodgers whom you want around to carry on a discussion that requires you to show foresight. Or hindsight. Or perspective. Or much of anything requiring thought.
2007-08-15 07:54:08
137.   Marty
The stupidest thing I did at work was once a guy came up to me and said he was having trouble with his computer. So I got up and did the old "walk this way" thing while dragging my leg. Of course the guy had a bad leg from polio or something and was actually dragging it.

Also, as a kid I once found myself with a bat in one hand and a basketball in the other. So naturally, I threw up the basketball and hit it with the bat. Bad idea. I was nearly knocked out when the bat sprang back and hit me in the jaw.

2007-08-15 07:54:20
138.   DodgerBakers
Old friends report: http://tinyurl.com/23aw34

Re: ALL-STAR Jose Offerman

2007-08-15 07:57:55
139.   DodgerBakers
138. with a cameo by Tommy John
2007-08-15 07:57:57
140.   Jon Weisman
138 - Yes, that's why there have been about a dozen comments about Offerman in this thread already ...
2007-08-15 08:01:48
141.   Daniel Zappala
I honestly can't remember doing anything stupid at work. I may be blocking out the memories. Or perhaps I used to work at some top-secret NSA facility and they've wiped my memories and replaced them with many years toiling in grad school.
2007-08-15 08:01:48
142.   Ken Noe
136 I don't think his comments change all that much either. I've assumed all year that Lowe would move on after next year. Ned won't give Boras the money he can get elsewhere. This won't be a popular thought, but given the slide of the last month, maybe it's time to try and get something from a contender for him now instead of zilch in '08. His $10 million due in '08 might be handy too. Ditto for Kent, who can be thoughtful and has said in the past that he doesn't want to be part of a "youth movement." I'd add JP if I thought anyone would take that contract.
2007-08-15 08:02:51
143.   Sam DC
My stupidest thing at work. I managed a restaurant. The head chef and I together closed it and locked it up really late one night. We both had to be back about 5 hours later to open it for brunch the next morning. I got there first, and thought it would be funny to open the safe, hide the money, toss some stuff around the office, and then wait in the next room to hear him scream when he walked in and saw the "robbery."

So I did that. And waited in the next room. And heard nothing, and heard nothing. And then I looked down and saw a red light on the phone meaning someone was making call. I ran into the office, and it was the owner's wife who had -- very quietly -- come in to get something. And of course she saw the mess and calmly called the owner.

Yeah, I had a bit of explaining to do there.

2007-08-15 08:15:49
144.   Telemachos
I've done a lot of stupid things at work. One of them... back in my production assistant days. I had just been hired to be a set PA for a live show down in Long Beach. The production team was doing the usual pre-production things, and one of the tasks was picking up the talent and hosts from the airport as they arrived and taking them to their hotels. Anyhoo, I got handed the info for Ron Reagan's flight (he was the main host), took a look and thought, "Man, I'm gonna need to really hurry to get to LAX in time." So I fought my way up the 405, parked with minutes to spare, dashed into the baggage claim area where the passengers were juuuuuust dis-embarking, and waited. No Ron Reagan. The passengers steamed past me. No Ron Reagan. About the time that the pilots and flight crew came out, I started getting a deep sinking feeling in my stomach. I checked my info again -- I'd gotten the right flight number, right?

It was only then I realized he was flying into the Long Beach Airport.

2007-08-15 08:33:27
145.   LogikReader
Mornin' guys:

Tonight I think I'm going to go see a movie, and maybe catch the rest of the Dodger game later.

Which one should I pick between Simpsons Movie and Bourne Ultimatum? or should I see both?

2007-08-15 08:37:53
146.   Greg Brock
I hate watching the kids go out there and make mistakes. Like forgetting how many outs there are in the bottom of the ninth. Young players can be so stupid!
2007-08-15 08:50:03
147.   Kevin Lewis
There are many things that concern me more than Sweeney's mistake on the basepaths. Tomko was looking good last night, and then he would throw four straight balls to someone. I think he walked Lamb twice this way. He was doing just fine with them putting the ball in play. So many of their hits were ground balls that got through. Eventually we will get the same kind of luck.

Hitting: Furcal, Martin and Kent look pretty bad at the plate right now. I was on the first base side, so I got to see Martin and Kent run a lot towards first on easy ground outs to second.

I hope with Penny pitching tonight that Grady will put the same lineup out there. We could have won last night with some better control from our pitching and...

2007-08-15 09:04:02
148.   Jon Weisman
147 - My biggest issue last night was utter lack of relief to bail out Tomko. In my mind, Joe Beimel's 2008 roster spot has become a little less secure. Seanez, of course, we should expect to retire.
2007-08-15 09:13:06
149.   Bumsrap
It was the veterans Kent and Nomar that were easily thrown out at third base this year when they had little chance, no chance, of getting there safely.

Sweeney thinking there were two outs is like someone thinking Pierre should get a five year contract. I like Pierre btw, I just want to watch Kemp play a minimum 2/3 of the time, Ethier all the time, and Young some of the time.

2007-08-15 09:13:27
150.   Bob Timmermann
One? Two? Three?

We all forget.

http://tinyurl.com/37vlg8

Show/Hide Comments 151-200
2007-08-15 09:18:57
151.   Bob Timmermann
"And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three
shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty
in my sight, shall snuff it.'"
2007-08-15 09:23:04
152.   Bumsrap
When I started my career there was a mix of rookies and veterans and the veterans were retired military officers. There was one full-bird Colonel that was very pompous and after a reorganization was announced and our unit changing, offices were going to be reassigned.

Two of us rookies wrote a fake memo describing who would be getting new offices and we put ourselves in the bigger offices and the Colonel in basically a closet. He didn't say a thing as he stormed down the hallway into the Directors office, slamed down the memo in front of him and growled about the assignment.

We all had a goog laugh which was a good thing sinse we had also faked the Directors signiture on that memo.

2007-08-15 09:31:14
153.   Sam DC
Employees wear jeans, and breakfasts and lunches are catered every day on the boss' dime.

Get your application in right quick D4P.

http://tinyurl.com/yp9fw4

2007-08-15 09:35:08
154.   underdog
148 I totally agree. I thought Tomko actually pitched far better than I could have expected, and while he bailed himself out of hot water a few times, that's more than he usually does. The relievers were brought in at the right time and they didn't get it done at all.

Btw, I didn't see anyone else make this comment so I will - while Sweeney's goof doesn't require much analysis, I do wonder how much of that could have been avoided had Mariano Duncan been paying attention, too. I think on the replay I saw him waving Sweeney back after it was basically too late. I assume he was watching the foul pop like the rest of us, but maybe a "get back here!" earlier on could have helped avoid the situation. Again, much blame to go around for another loss, but I was just curious as to that moment and the 1st base coach's role in it.

Meanwhile, if Greg's scenario comes true, can it be someone other than Ethier who is attacked by a big cat? Just spitballin' some names here, but, you know, Pierre vs. a Cheetah would be fun to watch, as a footrace.

2007-08-15 09:36:57
155.   fanerman
154 Ethier is more likely to be on-base than Pierre. So he gets the honor. At least that's what I figured.
2007-08-15 09:37:08
156.   D4P
153
But what am I supposed to do for dinner...?

"We are only known for the money part. An agent is quote-unquote about money," Boras said this week. "The truth of the matter is 70 percent of what we do has to do with preparing and evolving and growing the people we work for."

Um, yeah.

2007-08-15 09:39:48
157.   Jon Weisman
156 - I don't think you're going to like my new post up top.
2007-08-15 09:41:42
158.   Kevin Lewis
Would it have been a good idea to bring in Proctor in the sixth instead of letting Tomko start that inning? I think we have enough experience with Tomko to know that getting five innings out of him is a good thing.
2007-08-15 09:45:13
159.   Kevin Lewis
I know that is all hindsight, but was Grady afraid to hurt his feelings? Tomko must know by now that there is little confidence in him as a pitcher for the long haul.
2007-08-15 09:49:20
160.   KG16
145 - I've seen the Simpsons, good flick. Haven't seen Bourne, but if it's like the others, should be very good.
2007-08-15 09:50:40
161.   underdog
Maybe in hindsight Proctor instead of Beimel would have been the better order, but I think because the bullpen's fried and Tomko had pitched well they started the inning with him with their fingers crossed. Well, sure enough he fell apart, but they did pull him rather quickly. Maybe one batter too late. But yeah, I might have brought in Proctor first. Again, these guys have to get the job done - the bullpen didn't.

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