With apologies to Edmond Rostand...

THE VISCOUNT (with a conceited air): Sir, your team is ... hmm ... it is ... very disappointing!
CYRANO (gravely): Very!
THE VISCOUNT (laughing): Ha!
CYRANO (imperturbably): Is that all?
THE VISCOUNT: What do you mean?
CYRANO: Ah no! young blade! That was a trifle short!
You might have said at least a hundred things
By varying the tone ... like this, suppose, ...
Aggressive: "If I had such a team, I'd destroy it!"
Friendly: "Return to our league; you are welcome most anytime."
Descriptive: "Such roadkill ... such sweet roadkill ..."
Curious: "For scholars of the future, do tell us - how do you manage to watch others play in October, anon?"
Gracious: "Pray, thank you for your kindness to the little Marlins."
Truculent: "Your offense does indeed offend."
Considerate: "Do take this Brian Jordan bobblehead doll, as a proper remembrance."
Tender: "Ah, sweet March, with such promise, seems so long ago."
Pedantic: "Excuse me for saying, from this point of vantage, you might future-focus on on-base percentage."
Cavalier: "Ah, well, it's only a game, that you spend your whole lives pursuing."
Emphatic: " 'Tis no disappointment - you were never that good."
Dramatic: "Out. Out. OUT!"
Admiring: "Even with Monsieur Gagne, tout est perdu. Impressive."
Lyric: "Swing low, sweet batter. Coming for not to carry me home."
Simple: "You needed to manufacture runs."
Rustic: "How well you betray the lovely green fields."
Military: "We have found the weapons of minimal destruction!"
Practical: "This foundation, upon can one build,
Assuming one doth not stare deep and be illed,
And rend management contracts so carefully quilled
That might long run help, should one take a pill chilled."

--Such, my dear sir, is what you might have said,
Had you of wit or letters the least jot:
But, O most lamentable man!--of wit
You never had an atom, and of letters
You have three letters only!--they spell Ass!

And--had you had the necessary wit,
To serve me all the pleasantries I quote
Before this noble audience ... e'en so,
You would not have been let to utter one--
Nay, not the half or quarter of such jest!
I take them from myself all in good part,
But not from any other man that breathes!

(No, in my part, I didn't keep the meter. Include that in my apologies to Edmond.)