Baseball Toaster was unplugged on February 4, 2009.
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1) using profanity or any euphemisms for profanity
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4) arguing for the sake of arguing
5) discussing politics
6) using hyperbole when something less will suffice
7) using sarcasm in a way that can be misinterpreted negatively
8) making the same point over and over again
9) typing "no-hitter" or "perfect game" to describe either in progress
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National League East-leading Atlanta arrives in town with the Dodgers popping pitchers like Skittles, gasping for them like marathoners at mile 22, searching high and low for them like the latest folk remedy. The newest, Elmer Dessens? Never liked him. Strikes out no one; gets hit a lot. But maybe he can do a Jose Lima imitation, without the personality or innings. He was never really cut out to be a starting pitcher - maybe as a three-to-six out guy he can produce like he recently has with Arizona.
The interchangeable Dodger staff, filled with vitamins, meat, pitchertables and minerals:
Active
1) Odalis Perez
2) Jeff Weaver
3) Wilson Alvarez
4) Jose Lima
5) Kazuhisa Ishii
6) Eric Gagne
7) Yhency Brazoban
8) Giovanni Carrara
9) Duaner Sanchez
10) Elmer Dessens
11) Mike Venafro
Passive
12) Brad Penny
13) Edwin Jackson
14) Hideo Nomo
15) Scott Stewart
16) Darren Dreifort
17) Paul Shuey
18) Brian Falkenborg
19) Joel Hanrahan
20) Troy Brohawn
21) Masao Kida
22) Chad Billingsley
23) Ryan Ketchner
24) Robin Ventura
Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? So why don't you join the thousands of happy peppy people and try one. That's Vita-meta-pitcher-min.
Seriously, it's all just so much filler. I await the Penny/Jackson healing.
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