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About Jon
Thank You For Not ...

1) using profanity or any euphemisms for profanity
2) personally attacking other commenters
3) baiting other commenters
4) arguing for the sake of arguing
5) discussing politics
6) using hyperbole when something less will suffice
7) using sarcasm in a way that can be misinterpreted negatively
8) making the same point over and over again
9) typing "no-hitter" or "perfect game" to describe either in progress
10) being annoyed by the existence of this list
11) commenting under the obvious influence
12) claiming your opinion isn't allowed when it's just being disagreed with

I Am Shocked, Shocked, To Learn There Are Injuries Here
2006-04-15 09:30
by Jon Weisman

Your ligament, sir.

2006-04-15 09:44:53
1.   Bob Timmermann
"Why did you come to Los Angeles, Frank?"
"I came for the waters."
"But Los Angles is in the middle of the desert."
"I guess I was misinformed."
2006-04-15 09:54:16
2.   Robert Daeley
Rick: "Your cash is good at the bar."
McCourt: "What? Do you know who I am?"
Rick: "I do. You're lucky the bar's open to you."
2006-04-15 09:58:23
3.   Bob Timmermann
"What makes baseball commissioners so snobbish?"
"Perhaps if you told Mr. Selig that I am the second richest man in Boston."
"Second richest. That wouldn't impress Bud the richest man in Boston is a peanut vendor at Miller Park."
"We have something to look forward to."
2006-04-15 10:04:10
4.   D4P
Your repartee
My head
2006-04-15 10:04:18
5.   Steve
"Hello, Frank"

"Hello, Steve"

"How extravagant you are, throwing away prospects like that. Someday they may be scarce."

2006-04-15 10:09:03
6.   Steve
Frank: "I am only a poor corrupt official."
2006-04-15 10:10:32
7.   das411
4 -

"Hello Jerry!"
"....hello, Newman"

2006-04-15 10:19:05
8.   grandcosmo
I believe that the New York Times editors have banned their writers from using the Claude Rains's "shocked, shocked" gambling scene from "Casablanca" as an illustration of disingenuous surprise.
2006-04-15 10:23:20
9.   Suffering Bruin
8 That's true.

I don't know if it's still in effect but the Los Angeles Times some years ago banned the word "classic" from the sports section. If a tournament was called the "Santa Monica Classic", it was called something else.

2006-04-15 10:25:22
10.   Bob Timmermann
"Where is Gagne"
"I don't know. I think he has an ear infection."
"When will he back."
"Not tonight. Maybe in 15 days. ... He went home."
"Does he always miss so much time?"
"Oh he never ... He's got some scar tissue in his elbow."
"You used to be a much better liar, Ned."
2006-04-15 10:40:36
11.   Robert Daeley
"You give Grady credit for too much cleverness. My impression was that he's just another blundering Dodger."

"We musn't underestimate Dodger blundering. I was with them when they blundered into the World Series in 1988."

2006-04-15 11:50:02
12.   Screwgie
"Earache my eye! How'd you like a butt ache?"

"Will an elbow do?"

2006-04-15 11:58:47
13.   Jon Weisman
I know it was a cheap headline, but I only had about 30 seconds to get my thoughts across today. Mea culpa.
2006-04-15 12:07:43
14.   GoBears
I was actually considering re-watching "Casablanca" this weekend. Now I don't hafta. Good work, folks.

So, without the witty dialogue, is it then Bradley, Choi, and Perez who got on that plane (SWAL to Boston, stopping in Oakland), with Ned and Frank wandering away musing about the start of a beautiful friendship?

As much as I like Hee-Seop, he's no Ingrid Bergman.

2006-04-15 12:13:30
15.   dagwich
"Of all the ball teams in all the world, McCourt had to buy this one"


[Drinks again]

2006-04-15 12:15:10
16.   Andrew Shimmin
Okay, somebody sing Wacht am Rhein, and I'll drown you out with La Marseillaise. Ready, go. . .
2006-04-15 12:20:00
17.   Bob Timmermann
What watch do you have?
2006-04-15 12:41:47
18.   Linkmeister
I can't believe no one's used this yet:

"We'll always have 1988."

2006-04-15 12:56:27
19.   GoBears
17 Almost 1 watch.
2006-04-15 13:49:31
20.   Bob Timmermann
Such much watch?
2006-04-15 14:39:32
21.   Eric Enders
[Jeff Kent and Milton Bradley scuffle]

John Olguin: "You can't fight in here, this is the locker room!"

2006-04-15 14:43:46
22.   Eric Enders
"Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. In L.A. for the past 20 years we've had inter-team warfare, ligaments destroyed, parking lot murders, and albatross contracts, but we still produced Mike Piazza and Pedro Martinez. In Anaheim they had brotherly love - 40 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? Jeff DaVanon."
2006-04-15 14:47:41
23.   Eric Enders
"Tell me, who was it you left me for? Was it Carolyn Hughes, or were there others in between? Or - aren't you the kind that tells?"
2006-04-15 15:33:31
24.   dagwich
"Ned, Yhency is lost for the year...who do we bring up from Vegas?"

"Well Grady, I like The Bull a lot. But then Bills is dominant as well. Maybe Guzman or Martin can contribute...but maybe we really need the extra pitcher. What do you think?"

"I don't know what to'll have to think for the both of us."

2006-04-15 16:22:13
25.   beLITTLED and maligNED
Carolyn Hughes: ...Let's see, the last time we met...
Derek: Was in Motor City when we chartered a jet for the All-Star game.
Hughes: How nice, you remembered. But of course, that was also the day Karl Malone dumped me.
Derek: Not an easy day to forget.
Hughes: No.
Derek: I remember every detail. The National League wore gray, you wore me out.
2006-04-15 18:14:32
26.   scareduck
Derek: I remember every detail. The National League wore gray, you wore me out.

Brutal. Funny, but brutal.

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