Baseball Toaster was unplugged on February 4, 2009.
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1) using profanity or any euphemisms for profanity
2) personally attacking other commenters
3) baiting other commenters
4) arguing for the sake of arguing
5) discussing politics
6) using hyperbole when something less will suffice
7) using sarcasm in a way that can be misinterpreted negatively
8) making the same point over and over again
9) typing "no-hitter" or "perfect game" to describe either in progress
10) being annoyed by the existence of this list
11) commenting under the obvious influence
12) claiming your opinion isn't allowed when it's just being disagreed with
Weather permitting. Forecast is for clear skies with 10 percent chance of snow.
Update: It was a most memorable day and evening of fake baseball ...
4 p.m.: A quiet morning erupted into an uproarious afternoon here in Los Angeles. Milton Bradley has experienced a sudden recovery to his injured finger and has been activated from the disabled list. Scott Erickson has been released to create a roster spot.
Oh, and it turns out the Pedro Martinez-Delino DeShields trade never happened - and, that the Dodgers actually won a coin flip with Seattle and drafted Alex Rodriguez with the first overall pick in 1993, ahead of Darren Dreifort. Both Martinez and Rodriguez join the Dodgers tonight and, as reparations, will be paid at their 1993 salaries.
To make room for the All-Star pair, Oscar Robles has been lent away for the Mexican League playoffs, and Scott Erickson has again been released. That's right, Scott Erickson - the player so nice, they replaced him twice.
The Dodgers have also called up Joel Guzman from the minor leagues for tonight's game, sending Rick Monday down to Jacksonville. The Dodger broadcaster requested the move to be closer to his Vero Beach home.
Finally, in a three-way deal, it has been confirmed that the Dodgers reacquired catcher Mike Piazza, then sent him to the Bears for late-blooming outfielder Timmy Lupus. Lupus will be on the Dodger bench tonight, filling the role of Jason Repko, who has been placed on the 15-hour disabled list with a bruised goatee. To fulfill their role in the deal, the Dodgers parted ways with Scott Erickson.
A few snowflakes have fallen on this final day of June at beautiful Dodger Stadium, coating the advertisements around the park in a lovely white, but we do expect to get the game in.
Here are tonight's starting lineups:
For the visiting Bad News Bears …
| Tanner Boyle, SS | 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
| Ahmad Abdul Rahim, LF | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 |
| Kelly Leak, CF | 3 | 1 | 2 | 1 |
| "Slim" Engleberg, C | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Mike Piazza, 1B | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| Rudi Stein, 3B | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Jose Agilar, 2B | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| -Linus Van Pelt, 2B | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| "Specs" Ogilvie, RF | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Amanda Whurlitzer, P | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
| -Charlie Brown, P | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Total | 19 | 3 | 6 | 2 |
|---|
For the host Los Angeles Dodgers …
| Milton Bradley, CF | 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
| J.D. Drew, RF | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 |
| Alex Rodriguez, 3B | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
| -Antonio Perez, 3B | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Hee Seop Choi, 1B | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| Jeff Kent, 2B | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 |
| Joel Guzman, LF | 2 | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| -Timmy Lupus, LF | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Cesar Izturis, SS | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 |
| Jason Phillips, C | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Pedro Martinez, P | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| -Jeff Weaver, P | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| -Jason Grabowski, PH | 1 | 1 | 1 | 2 |
| -Yhency Brazoban, P | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| -Scott Erickson, P | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Total | 19 | 6 | 6 | 6 |
|---|
| Bears | 0 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | - | 3 | 6 | 0 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dodgers | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 0 | x | - | 6 | 6 | 1 |
E-Guzman. DP-Dodgers 1 (Kent-Izturis-Choi). TP-Dodgers 1 (Lupus). BB: Bears 3 (Brown, Engleberg, Piazza), Dodgers 3 (Drew, Choi, Kent). SO: Bears 5 (Leak, Ogilvie 2, Engleberg, Rahim), Dodgers 4 (Kent, Weaver, Drew, Choi). 2B-Leak, Rodriguez, Guzman. 3B-Rahim, Izturis. HR: Piazza, Leak, Guzman, Grabowski. SF-Choi. SB-Stein, Brown 2. CS-Bradley, Brown. GIDP-Boyle. HBP-Rahim (by Martinez), Stein (by Weaver).
| Bears | IP | H | R | ER | BB | SO |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Whurlitzer (L) | 3 1/3 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 3 | 2 |
| Brown | 1 2/3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 |
| Dodgers | IP | H | R | ER | BB | SO |
| Martinez | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Weaver (W) | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 2 |
| Brazoban | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 |
| Erickson (S) | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0 |
8:40 p.m.: Good evening, everyone, and welcome to Dodger Stadium. Please enjoy the stylings of Nancy Bea as we draw closer to the start of tonight's game.
8:50 p.m.: The Bears have announced the signing of Scott Erickson. However, he is not expected to be in uniform tonight.
8:55 p.m. Please rise and remove your caps for the performance of the National Anthem, to be sung tonight by Mr. Soul himself - Sam Cooke.
9:00 p.m. Ah, that gave me chills. Okay, folks - Play ball!
Inning 1 - Top: Pedro Martinez faces Tanner Boyle ... Boyle grounds it to first baseman Hee Seop Choi. He takes it to the bag himself - one away.
Ahmad Abdul Rahim steps in. With the count 0-1, he's hit in the lower back by the pitch!
Kelly Leak bats with a runner on first and one out. Martinez sees the sign from Jim Tracy, and he's not happy. Intentional walk. Ball one, ball two, ball three ... Leak swings and misses at the attempted ball four. Now Martinez is steaming. He burns a fastball in for strike two. And another fastball for strike three!
As Engleberg comes to bat, Martinez is rubbing his shoulder. Did he overthrow on that last pitch? Engleberg swings at the first offering from Martinez and lifts a harmless fly ball to left-center. Guzman and Bradley converge ... and it's Bradley with the catch to retire the side.
Inning 1 - Bottom: As Bradley bats in his new leadoff role, Martinez is talking to the Dodger trainers in the dugout. Bradley lines Whurlitzer's second pitch up the middle for a base hit.
J.D. Drew at the plate. Bradley is picked off! Drew walks.
Jeff Weaver has begun throwing in the Dodger bullpen. It looks like Martinez's night is done. Alex Rodriguez bats against Whurlitzer. Deep drive in the gap - it's a double off the wall. Drew held up to see if the ball would be caught, and settles for third base. Two on, one out.
Hee! Seop! Choi! Choi is in the lineup despite being hitless in 0 career at-bats vs. Whurlitzer. Choi lifts a fly ball to right field. To the track. To the wall. A leaping catch by Rahim! Drew tags and scores and the Dodgers lead, 1-0. Rodriguez takes third.
Whurlitzer is off to a rough start, but she strikes out Jeff Kent to end the inning, stranding A-Rod at third base. After one inning, Dodgers 1, Bears 0
Inning 2 - Top: Jeff Weaver is in the game. We will update you on Martinez's condition when we have the news. Weaver has completed his warmups and faces Mike Piazza. Boom! We're tied, 1-1.
Rudi Stein follows with a weak grounder to Izturis at short for the first out.
Jose Agilar pops out.
Ogilvie strikes out. Weaver makes quick work of the Bears after allowing the homer by Piazza, using only seven pitches in the inning. Game tied, 1-1.
Inning 2 - Bottom: Phenom Joel Guzman faces the seasoned Whurlitzer. It's a double for the new hometown hero!
Cesar Izturis is the batter. Rudi Stein is in on the grass at third base. Further in. Further in. His toe edges onto home plate. Izturis bunts! The ball hits Stein in the mouth, and he hangs on for a Snoopy-like catch.
With one out and Guzman on second, Jason Phillips hits a ground ball that goes through the long legs of Guzman, but Boyle fields and is able to make the play at first. Two out, as Guzman hugs third.
Weaver, ever-capable with the bat, stares at called strike three. Whurlitzer minimizes the damage following the leadoff double. After two innings, Dodgers 1, Bears 1
Inning 3 - Top: Whurlitzer hits a slow roller to third base. Rodriguez charges - and trips! No play; Whurlitzer is aboard. And Rodriguez is rolling on the ground, holding his ankle ...
Antonio Perez grabs a glove. Rodriguez is coming off the field. The official scorer rules the play a hit, but Rodriguez can't be concerned with that as he limps off.
Boyle, 0 for 1, bats. Ground ball to Kent. Nice backhand play by the veteran. He flips to Izturis to get one - over to Choi for a Dodger double play (TM).
Abdul Rahim bats. He only needs to marry Kirby Puckett, and then his initials will be AARP. He slams one into the gap. Rahim is rounding second and heading for third. Guzman overthrows the cutoff man and the ball scoots away. Rahim scores without a play and the Bears take the lead!
Kelly Leak follows with ... way back ... it's gone, a home run to dead center field. This isn't the June Jeff Weaver we've come to know. He's allowed three runs in 1 2/3 innings and the Bears lead, 3-1.
Engleberg strikes out to end the inning. Weaver screams into his glove as he walks off the field.
Inning 3 - Bottom: Bradley leads off and grounds to Agilar for a simple 4-3 out.
J.D. Drew flies to right field.
Antonio Perez lines to Agilar - it's a 1-2-3 inning, the first of the game. After three innings, Bears 3, Dodgers 1
Inning 4 - Top: Weaver is back out there to face Piazza, who victimized him in the second inning. The tables turn, as Piazza pops to Choi at first.
Stein, 0 for 1, awaits the pitch. Did it hit him? No, it's ruled to have hit the bat. Strike one. Second pitch. Did it hit him? No, it's ruled to have hit the bat. Strike two. Third pitch. Did it hit him? Yes. Stein takes first.
Agilar fouls one into the stands. Oh, a lucky fan makes the catch and shows it off to Dad.
Stein is off on the pitch. Phillips throws. The throw is late - but Stein doesn't stop running. He thinks the ball has gone into center field. Izturis deked him! Stein is in a pickle now ... and ... he's out. Score it 2-6-5-4-2-6-5-9-7-3-1-8.
Agilar hits a comebacker to Weaver, who fires to Choi for out number three. Weaver's first scoreless inning, and it remains a 3-1 Bears lead.
Inning 4 - Bottom: Choi walks to start the bottom of the fourth inning.
Kent also walks. Whurlitzer having trouble finding the plate.
Look out! Joel Guzman has arrived! A long fly ball for the kid into the top half of the left-field pavilion, a three-run blast, and it's 4-3 Dodgers!
A frustrated Whurlitzer faces Cesar Izturis, who swings away - and triples down the right-field line. Izturis is back!
We've just gotten word that Izturis has lost 50,000 All-Star votes. They were taken away. Jason Phillips bats ... the squeeze! The bunt goes foul. Phillips up again ... and he strikes out.
The mystery of the Izturis voting deepens. Apparently, Macier Izturis was seen leaving Dodger Stadium with a pile of ballots in his back seat.
Tracy is batting for Weaver, who wasn't expected to pitch today. It's Jason Grabowski. And ... it's a long fly ball, down the line, near the foul pole ...gone! A Grabowski home run! Dodgers lead it, 6-3.
Morris Buttermaker heads for the mound. He's not waiting any longer. He's going to the pen. It's a double-swtich. The new pitcher is ... a veteran, someone acquired in the offseason. It's Charlie Brown. Brown will bat in the No. 7 slot, and coming in to play second base in place of Agilar and bat ninth is Linus Van Pelt.
As Whurlitzer heads for the so-called "Principle's Office," Brown is spun around by a line drive up the middle. But Boyle nabs it and is able to retire Bradley at first.
J.D. Drew swings at what would have been ball four and strikes out. But the Dodgers rally with five in the inning. After four innings, Dodgers 6, Bears 3
Inning 5 - Top: Snow flurries are moving in from offshore as we head into the fifth, but we should get an official game in.
The new Dodger pitcher is Yhency Brazoban, as Jim Tracy wants to use his fireballing youngster early. Ogilvie can't see the pitches - his glasses are fogged up. He swings before they are even thrown, and strikes out meekly.
Charlie Brown, Mr. Plate Discipline, walks.
With Boyle up, Charlie Brown steals second!
With the count 1-0, Charlie Brown steals third!
With the count 2-0, Charlie Brown tries to steal home. The ball gets away from Phillips. Charlie Brown can score easily. He heads for the dugout, jubilant. But wait - Phillips chases down the wild pitch, then goes and tags Charlie Brown near the steps. Brown is out - he never touched home plate!
A young girl shouts from the crowd: "You Blockhead" ... as Boyle singles up the middle.
The red-hot Rahim, however, strikes out on a Brazoban heater.
This word from the official scorer. Apparently, an inebriated Buttermaker failed to execute the double switch correctly, explaining why Brown was batting in the No. 9 spot.
Inning 5 - Bottom: Antonio Perez ground to third base for the first out.
An inebriated fan runs onto the field, disrupting the game. The crowd, in unison, shouts out, "We don't appreciate this rude behavior." The embarrassed fan meekly returns to his seat, changing the course of Dodger Stadium history forever.
Hee Seop Choi bats .. and strikes out against Charlie Brown's lollipop curve.
Jeff Kent flies to left field, and the Dodgers fail to build upon their lead. After five innings, Dodgers 6, Bears 3
Inning 6 - Top: New Dodger pitcher: oh my God, it's Scott Erickson. He's back. The Dodgers reacquired him, beneath the radar, just before gametime. Just when you think he's gone, he pops up like the end of some horror movie.
Kelly Leak leads off Erickson and doubles off the top of the center field wall.
Erickson walks Engleberg.
Erickson walks Piazza.
The snow has arrived! Tying runs on, none out, and it's a near whiteout as Rudi Stein comes to bat.
Stein falls behind, 0-2. It's a blizzard. Now the count goes to 3-2.
Stein swings! We hear the crack of ball against bat.
No one can see where it went! Bears are running around the bases like mad.
A little boy is running in from left field. It's ... Timmy Lupus. And he's holding the ball. Timmy Lupus has robbed Rudi Stein of a grand-slam, thwarting his ex-teammates. He doubles off Leak at third and Engleberg at second for an unassisted triple play! Inning over.
Lupus, ever the quiet one, replaced Guzman in left field.
The snow is blinding. The umps are calling the game. Dodgers win, 6-3. Weaver gets the victory. Erickson gets the save - he's the new closer. All thanks to Timmy Lupus. Next year has arrived for Timmy Lupus!
Oh, the humanity.
(Fake game chat goes in this thread. Non-fiction Dodger chat is continuing in the Swing Away thread.)
BOOGER! EATING! MORON!... BOOGER! EATING! MORON!...
vr, Xei
Leak -- I wish we'd traded for him. That kid has an arm. But I can see why we might not -- he'd probably learn some bad "motorcycle washing" habits from Kent.
The declining but still useful Mike Piazza will start behind the dish for the Dodgers.
In other news, former Dodger prospect Paul Lo Duca seems to be doing well in Cleveland.
vr, Xei
vr, Xei
These things are important to me.
If she were to make Amanda Whurlitzer her target, things would really be going in the right direction.
It's sort of inconvient either way, but I'm going to post updates in the main post. You'll have to do some scrolling.
31 - Like Colin Mochrie, I hope to be in the spirit of the best of both.
And at the end of this, we'll very much need a Superman spinning of the earth backwards, because I have to be at work at 6:30 am tomorrow, and it'll be ? 2:00 am ? when it wraps. And needless to say, with this intro, it's going to be very hard to responsibly keep away.
You also missed the companion piece by Simers where he makes fun of Pedro's inability to speak unaccented English, and claimed his daughter can hit a baseball better than ARod.
Update from Las Vegas:
Odalis Perez just completed what is likely his final rehab assignment in Las Vegas. He threw 79 pitches (46 strikes) through 5 excellent innings of work. Throughout the night, he only faced one batter over the minimum, allowing a double and a walk, but erasing the walk on a double-play. He also struck out 5, the last on his final pitch of the night. Las Vegas is currently up 2 - 0 over Portland in the top of the 6th.
Update from Ogden:
Ogden is en route to its 8th win in 10 games. The Raptors are up 10 - 6 over Idaho Falls in the top of the 8th. Sergio Pedroza has been the hero of the night so far, going 4 for 4 with 2 HRs and 6 RBIs. He is now 6 for 6 with a walk since joining the Raptors yesterday. Quite a start to his professional career.
I hope Pedro knocks the first batter on his a**
Can you swing a trade for Ichiro?
But I hear he's been released..... A few times.
Looks like somebody needs to be cutt off already.
I don't like Russ Ortiz.
My favorite Dodger when I was a little kid was Richie Allen.
My boss says I can only serve one drink at a time here.
He also reminds everybody to watch the language and take all violence outside.
I am outside. Whaddya think this is, the Astrodome? Besides, I'm a happy drunk.
Does anyone else think the Bears signing Piazza seems to fly in the face of their strategy?
Which reminds me, barkeep...lemme have a pisco sour.
Amanda Hugginkiss? You here?
Keep it down a second guys, I need Amanda Hugginkiss!
vr, Xei
vr, Xei
"Let them play!"
"Let them play!"
vr, Xei
Nancy Bea plays the Peanuts Theme as the next pitcher come out.
When did Erickson change his name to Charlie Brown?
I think Charlie Brown was always turned head-over-heels by the line drives (as opposed to turned around).
Just relax and have another double, on the house.
It'll still hold about 15 of you, but you're going to have to be flexible and willing to cooperate.
Scotty Sucks!!!! Clap Clap, Clap Clap Clap.
Did the M&M's even run a race?
Have at it, boys!
vr, Xei
http://tinyurl.com/bh4f5
This should be sent straight to the Smithsonian as a compendium of how baseball has influenced pop culture and vice versa.
thanks for making such an enjoyable site ... pretty amazing that you can get 225 comments on a imaginary game, kudos to dodgerthoughts and its loyal commenters...
:)
http://tinyurl.com/azvh8
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